Should I have faked it? Instead of going real and vulnerable?

Not wanting to get stale, here's a wanking video unlike any I've ever made before! Why? Because I had to stop masturbating because it was making my clit feel like it had brambles in it! Uh huh. I'd woken looking and feeling a mess after dropping off without taking my bedtime medication. It meant I started slipping into withdrawals as I'm on some hardcore painkillers. But but but, this is the whole reason I decided to do this to begin with! To make content and become an amateur pornstar - because after being diagnosed with cancer 29 years ago exactly when I was just 10, the side effects have controlled my life ever since. Which have included some utterly horrific and excruciating times! You can't even begin to imagine! So now, now I want to use my body to try and turn my life around! It's felt like it's been over for the last decade, ever since the accident that left me disabled and in constant pain and off my tits on painkillers. Wanking? Easy! Orgasming? Not so much